What is a Father? I have been trying to put a grasps on that for the last 24 years of my life.
For me, i never really had the chance to know who my father is, like most kids who were born during my Generation. Don't get me wrong, i've seen him like 5 times in my whole life if that...
I just don't understand why a man wouldn't want to be father to his kids? Kids are brought into this world to be LOVED and for someone to have one and not want to love them just baffles me. I am glad that i have had a few "Father Figures" in my life but at times i wonder what my life could've been like if this "LOSER ASS NIGGA" was in my life and did right by his kids.
I know that everything happens for a reason and "Karma" comes to those who do right and to those who do wrong...
I Recently found out that he has Cancer and may not have that much time left on this earth.
Am i supposed to feel bad for him? Don't get me wrong i do feel bad that he has Cancer, but he never gave a damn about me and my brothers so i don't relly have any sadness in my heart for him.
I know that i am wrong in a sense and i can only hope that god can forgive me, but this is where i am at in my life.
This time of year makes me appreciate my Mother so much more. I have the highest amount of respect for her because i know what she had to deal with being a "Single Mother" and going through the Bullshit she went through while still be a mother to us........(LOVE YOU MOM!!!)
This time of year also makes me feel "Sadness" & "Regret".
I feel "Sadness" because my grandfather isn't here (R.I.P) for my mother, who loved him so much and "Regret" because i never had that kind of relationship with him...
The older i get, the more OPEN and HONEST with myself i get. This helps me to express my opinions and thoughts the way i do now.......and i am thankful for that!
Peace & Luv!
*Robert*
